Overall Reflection - ED 710

I am nearing the end of my first year of teaching. In some ways I can't believe it is over and in other ways, the end can't come soon enough! It has been a real balancing act this year; balancing family, grad school, and work. At some points, I was ready to throw in the towel and tap out. Whenever I felt like I couldn't take on one more thing, I turned to others, especially my cohort members, and was able to get a better grip on the situation. When I was at my most hopeless, my cohort and family members were always there to lift me back up.

I cannot believe how much I have grown this year. I was chatting with my STAT teacher a few months ago and commenting about how my consulting teacher observations have really shifted. At the beginning of the year, I was always in the developing area and now I've reached proficiency with her. I said that I didn't feel like I had changed and my STAT teacher pointed out that he has seen a lot of growth in me, specifically my confidence level. I sat back later on and reflected on his statement. And I couldn't agree more. At the beginning of the year, I was not confident in my abilities. Yes, there were moments that I knew I had it but they were fleeting. When I walked into a room, I didn't always take charge of the room. I worried about what my students thought about me and what their perception of me was. While these things are important, especially for relationship building, it is also important to push my students. Their opinion of me means less than my relationships with them. How they perceive me doesn't get them to participate. Knowing they are not judged and all efforts are important is what gets the work done. I used to get upset if a student was mad at me and now I let it be. Sometimes they just need someone to be upset with and it is not always personal.

I also feel more confident in the classroom. I've become comfortable with failure and understand that failure is part of growth. When a lesson flops, it is OK! These downs are important for growth and learning. I feel more capable of handling situations. I've also added new techniques into my teaching. This has increased my confidence as well. I understand better that success is not always what a student is able to write down. Instead, I can make better judgments on student understanding that go beyond pencil and paper. One suggestion my CT just provided me this week is to use checklists. Next year, I want to create a checklist of the specific standards for a unit. Each students name will be on the checklist. This would serve as my formative assessment of students and can be used as progress towards mastery grades. Instead of collecting a hundred worksheets, I can simply check off if they understand the concepts. Hopefully, the only collectibles will be concept checks, quizzes, and tests. This is something I want to look into creating this summer and would alleviate a lot of unnecessary grading. My observations of my students are better indicators of ability than what they can write down. I need to continue to trust in my abilities and I know I will continue to grow as an educator.